时间:2026-08-21 09:23:31 来源:网络整理编辑:知識
It's been almost two weekssince McDonalds revealed they hadn't produced enough promotional Szechuan
It's been almost two weekssince McDonalds revealed they hadn't produced enough promotional Szechuan sauce to satisfy the rabid Rick and Mortyfanbase.
Fans everywhere are mildly disappointed. Desperate for sauce packets, a vocal population has made their demands known. Nearly everyone, it seems, has an opinion on the matter.
So where is Hillary Clinton?
SEE ALSO:Hillary Clinton calls Trump the most dangerous president in U.S. historyIn a times like this, we expect our leaders to take action. Maybe shouldn't be surprised that neo-liberal sellout Hillary Clinton -- who we all know is the hands of big condiment -- has failed to issue a public statement on the matter.
That doesn't make it any less damning.
Over the years, Hillary Clinton has made her "love" for hot sauce known in multiple interviews, even going so far as to carry a bottle of hot sauce in her bag. Her affection for spice just doesn't feel genuine: compare it to President Obama's love of mustard, which is obviously 100 percent authentic and comes directly from his far more authentic soul.
Hillary makes herself out to be a friend of the condiment community. Photo-op after photo-op show her at diners, pouring ketchup and hot sauce onto her overcooked burgers in a poll-tested, DNC-approved, strategy to make her look human.
Not one but two ketchup containers for Ms. Queen Condiment over hereCredit: jonathan torgovnik/Getty ImagesYet when the Szechuan sauce crisis finally emerged, the former Secretary of State had nothing to offer us but her craven silence.
Let me be clear: There is one person to blame for the Szechuan sauce outage, and that person is not the CEO of McDonalds. That person is somehow Hillary Clinton.
Perhaps if Hillary Clinton hadn't been so aligned with other condiments, McDonalds wouldn't have been so underprepared for their initial corporate promotion. People like Hillary Clinton have been lining their pockets with Heinz Ketchup wrappers and selling the Democratic party's condiment preferences to the highest paying bidder for years. Over time, voters became slowly alienated by third-way condiment Democrats. Some of whom, it is believed, use organic ketchup in a desperate attempt to satisfy their high-sodium lobbyist base.
Can we really blame voters for turning to Taco Salad Donald Trump in a time of such great need? I've been to these communities. I've seen the salt shakers full of rice. I've witnessed the pre-ground pepper.
This is generation Hillary Clinton -- and no one else -- left behind.
America. 2017.Credit: UIG via Getty ImagesIt's time for Hillary Clinton to finally accept her full responsibility for the temporary Szechuan sauce outage, the 2016 election, climate change, this random hole I got in my pants yesterday, Harvey Weinstein, the mediocre seventh season of Game of Thrones, ugly birds, polio, Hurricane Maria and rompers for men -- before leaving politics for good.
Then, and only then, will we finally probably not forgive her.
Thanks for reading Mashable Humor: original comedy every day. Or most days. We're people, just like you, and we're trying our best.
This German startup wants to be your bank (without being a bank)2026-08-21 09:18
Bannon called that Trump Jr. meeting 'treasonous' and the internet is losing it2026-08-21 09:13
John Mayer (and the internet) accepts the #KyloRenChallenge2026-08-21 09:07
Beyonce leads huge Coachella 2018 lineup2026-08-21 08:45
Tributes flow after death of former Singapore president S.R. Nathan2026-08-21 08:28
Man on 'Jeopardy!' learns the hard way to always keep it 'gangsta'2026-08-21 08:24
Incredible images show the East Coast 'bomb cyclone' from space2026-08-21 08:22
Ethereum crosses historic $1,000 milestone2026-08-21 08:19
MashReads Podcast: What makes a good summer read?2026-08-21 07:40
The 1980s did winter coats better than anyone else2026-08-21 07:09
Xiaomi accused of copying again, this time by Jawbone2026-08-21 08:49
LG to show its drool2026-08-21 08:02
Bannon called that Trump Jr. meeting 'treasonous' and the internet is losing it2026-08-21 07:53
Tesla's online trip planning tool shows driving and charging routes2026-08-21 07:51
Old lady swatting at a cat ends up in Photoshop battle2026-08-21 07:20
Man on 'Jeopardy!' learns the hard way to always keep it 'gangsta'2026-08-21 07:16
Tesla's online trip planning tool shows driving and charging routes2026-08-21 07:07
Hockey player tells his dad he made the Olympics in heartwarming video2026-08-21 07:03
Singapore gets world's first driverless taxis2026-08-21 06:55
Apple acquires Buddybuild, plans to shut it down to Android developers2026-08-21 06:36