Hey! Glad to see you here. Wish it was under better circumstances -- unfortunately, your day is about to get much worse.

Here's the deal. Food Network is collaborating with McCormick on a video series promoting Man Crafted, a show that apparently highlights "dynamic men across the country who are making their mark on the food world." (Whatever.) One of these videos purports to show you how to prepare watermelon.

SEE ALSO:The New York Times wants you to put peas in your guacamole. Nope.

First, chef James Briscione cuts the watermelon into cubes. Weird, but efficient. Then, he chops off the rind and sticks a skewer into each piece. Seems unnecessary, but sure. Next, he sprinkles the melon with salt. Sweet and savory -- hell yeah! Finally, he finishes the dish off with a generous dusting of taco seasoning.

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Taco.

Seasoning.

Tweet may have been deleted

Friends, this sounds disgusting. I hope you never have to eat it. Frankly, I am sorry I shared it with you. Please consider this my formal apology.

And if you want savory watermelon, please just use a dash of chili powder.

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