May 23 is World Turtle Day.

On this of all days, we celebrate turtles -- and we especially celebrate turtles making more turtles, so we can, in turn, celebrate those newturtles.

Following that logic, we should celebrate turtle sex. Specifically, we should celebrate by ranking YouTube videos of turtles having sex. There are a surprisingly large number of them.

Now, let's be clear, the purpose of this ranking is not to shame any of these turtles for having lesser sex. All turtle sex is good sex because, as outlined above, it is making more turtles.

7. The basic

Nothing wrong with being basic. Here you have two turtles simply enjoying each other's company.

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6. The cuck

Turtle sex isn't always so emotionally uncomplicated. Take this unfolding drama in which a jealous rival interrupts a sensual moment in a romantic zoo setting.

5. The scream of lust

This mighty goliath knows how to show his lady he's having a blast: by screaming in her ear and flailing his limbs around wildly.

Good vid.

4. The orgy

Why not share the fun? Turtles don't seem to have hang-ups.

3. The sneaker

Further proving that turtles don't have hang-ups, here's a feisty boy who has no shame in using accessories for his pleasure.

2. The croc

Here's a turtle having sex with another shoe, but it's a Croc, which makes the whole scene infinitely more interesting. Go get 'em, little buddy.

1. The honesty

And here is the best video of turtle sex on the internet, featuring this beautifully honest soul who will gladly share his inner-most thoughts on breeding. He knows how important this act is.

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These monkeys are having better sex than you.

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TopicsAnimals